A desert

She walks steadily towards the fire,

Conversing with her fallen soul,

Trying to redeem herself before she approaches the holiness:

 

I carry you in my tired heart.

Your yoke Lord, is lighter than the chaos I keep.

 

Guide your child through the parched soils,

Irrigate the deserts she must tread.

And be the hope of her heart.

Wherever you may lead her.

 

It’s a lonely journey,

Pursuing unseen things,

Swimming against the world’s tides,

Praying in the busy-ness

Drawing a seeming wish list…

 

You have put a void in my heart.

Have put me in the lowest pit…

I cry, I toil against fiends everyday...a somewhat recurring defeat(s).
 

‘’but If Christ’s kingdom may thereby be advanced in me.

Then may your will  be done’’


 

The stand by hillsong

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

The veiled madness,

The manicured answers to silly questions,

A poised giggler,

Some sort of art here,

A blend of substance and babble.

What mends the broken strings in there?

Who owns the voids that now live there,

Her madness is her own

But what of the little sense she has left,

 that too is her own

but she struggles to articulate it,

Arg, then veil the wisdom as well,

Parade her to an audience,

Tell them stories they want to hear,

Hold back the truth about her life

Render such days a necessary waste,

And be free (in the awkwardness) only when alone.

will you be there by michael jackson

"Will You Be There"

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

Y&f

The sun shifted to the other side,

And left behind, darkness and some stars,

 

I looked at the seams, where

Light and the blackness had parted,

it were as if hope and hopelessness had met,

And the latter was allotted to those of us that could not fly to the lit paradise,

 

The light of the stars is inadequate,

We need to see where our feet are treading,

Whether our hearts are degenrating,

are we moving closer to God…

 

We are pressed on every side, but may we not be crushed,

Perplexed, but may we not be driven to despair.

And as surely as the sun will rise again,

So Lord, you  will also come….

The Christian experience

My strength eroded under the currents.

‘saw the audacity of the waves,

And nothing in me could withstand the turbulence.

the poetry that, such a tragedy formerly inspired,

(nor lofty books by CS Lewis),

Could bring me to sufficient relief,

 

I called out to God:

But he managed my expectation for healing, with silence.

The hollowness, the disorder, the distress…

Through it all,

He chose to remain silent,

Not so much an epiphany (a verse) from him.

Just hours and hours of muted attendance by the Holy Spirit. 

 

Felt my heart stagnant,

Felt my mind constrained,

Like I were all alone, in an empty galaxy.

My feet failed,

And I grew weary,

And that sloppy observer of a friend,

noted the absence of my God.

And I, a feeble fledgling in the faith,

Could not stand the apparent reality:

that God could not be found in the pit.

I buried my face in my little hands,

Went on my knees…

But only the silence spoke back.

 

‘felt the heat evermore

As it consumed the corruption in my heart,

Especially those sly vices:

My pride, my greed, my pride and my greed!

Never had I so lucidly, seen my own impurity.

The slyness of my pretty Christian heart.

Saw below it,

The vileness of my soul.

Brought to an awakening:

 I am a sinner

 

Brought to a lonely place,

So I may realise my need for grace…

To believe in the necessity for Christ.

Feeling him search me,

Pushing me into the fire,

The only way is to brave the flame,

To loose my former self,

And be renewed by his love.

Here against insurmountable odds,

He has put me.

My feet will certainly fail,

 

But Lord, may your grace richly abound.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw 
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcnfT4arZtI