priscilla's chronicles

I thought one would find it in a palace
perhaps on someone's tiara
in comfortable strain,
where my heart wouldn't really faint,
indeed,
thought such beauty was borne out of
morality and righteous living.
however, to my shock,
 I found the sparkle in precious filth,
refined in seeming normality
of bad luck, stagnant dreams
and nothing special in particular


a restless heart seeking home
in violent chaos
where heaven and hell wrestle for a soul,
somewhat dancing with dangerous chance
deciding between life and death
yet the conundrum hid itself from my deviant eye
may God find me
to rest my tired soul
and to give me a crown
and a new heart,
for a new beginning
into eternity and abundant life, real life
until then,
may I seek your face
may I seek eternity
may I forfeit my right to enjoy this moment
through discipline and prayer
to passionately seek you
and there in my lack,
in my demerit to entitle myself to pretty things,
may you find me,
hungry and crying for you.
and by your grace may you fill this empty heart,
this busy heart,
this painful heart,
and may love exceed fear, anxiety and all the inadequacy I ever felt,
indeed may the object of my troubles seem like filth to me,
and may my goal be God and nothing else,
may practicing his love, be my highest goal...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah0uydqMYhE